May be sensitive to some. This is super personal. More personal than I would typically share. I just hope to relate to someone else out there or perhaps be one to relate to.
This is my life. This is someone who is very important to me. As I sit here in ICU, I reflect on our life together and what this whole experience has taught me.
I have always had a passion for health, science, and wellness. So much so that I have spent the last 9 years studying the subjects in college, working in the medical field, becoming a fitness professional, working towards my PT cert, and focusing on my own journey. Being an athlete most of my life has definitely stuck with me. But you know what really motivates me; To become stronger, more knowledgeable, more resourceful, capable of imprinting on a more diverse range of clients? My father.
For years, his health has been declining due to many issues brought on by Obesity and living a sedentary lifestyle. CHF, Afib, High BP, Sleep apnea, etc. For years, he has ignored medical advice from cardiologists, respiratory specialists, nurses, surgeons, & his own two children. For years, we have given him the opportunity and resources to improve his quality of life. We encourage him, educate him, motivate him, and yet, nothing ever sinks in. As a child and as a human being, it’s very difficult to watch the life of someone you love very slowly slip away, especially when it’s something that could have been prevented. 58 is too young. When you’ve put forth so much to try and help, without being an enabler, and they have no desire to help themselves, it becomes incredibly exhausting. How many close calls is it going to take? Being “overweight” is one thing, but when it becomes life-threatening, it’s harder to bounce back. The body can only withstand so much abuse before your heart finally throws in the towel.
I do not wish to live this way. I have seen what physical and mental struggles my father copes with. Unfortunately, he does not understand that this all began as a mental issue that has caused him physical harm. It is very difficult to explain realisms to someone who chooses to be close-minded and set in their own ways. I have learned firsthand how much stress and hurt it can put on your loved ones. I never want to put this pressure on anyone. I cannot truly help anyone unless they are willing to help themselves.
I refuse to let history repeat itself. God knows when it’s going to be my time. It could be next week, it could be 70 years from now. The truth is, we never really know. However, the choices I make today ultimately set the course for my own quality of life.
This whole experience has given me strength and courage to grow as an individual and as a fitness influencer. This does not mean I love my father any less. It only implies that this is now beyond my control.
“You can lead a horse to the trough, but you can’t make him drink.”
If I am not able to help my dad, perhaps there are others I can inspire. I will continue working hard towards my goals. I will work harder at being a better role model, an influencer, an athlete, and fitness professional. I want others to know and see my story. I don’t like to sugar coat anything.
Clients: I strive to be worth the investment, and then some. Your time will be used efficiently and effectively. I will work hard for you and make sure you accomplish the goals you’ve set out, but only if you really want it. Otherwise, please don’t waste my time. This is the reason why I do what I do. I don’t want anyone to go through this, and I hope to inspire others to take better care of themselves.